SENIORITIS . . .
Finally, our long awaited senior year arrived,
And 95 of us had ultimately survived!
I didn't make it into Mrs. Lackey's college prep English class according to my plan,
Oh no, some of us ended up with Coach Jones, the original multi-tasking man.
He issued us a challenge on that very first day:
"Get something published and you've earned your "A".
Well, Linda Bradley wrote a question to the Courier Journal that appreared in print,
And waving the paper triumphantly up to his desk she went.
She reckoned she'd met the standard just fine,
And would take her "A" for the course now if he didn't mind!
Opal Hanshaw and I and all the rest boys
Signed up for physics, one of life's little joys.
We learned all about mechanical and electrical energy,
But we often had trouble with all the male synergy.
One day after class we were discussing our demises,
Which often happened after one of Mr. Cheek's little quiz surprises.
We shared a secret, I've kept to this day
About which funeral home in town would put us away.
We decided then and there that upon our departure from this earth,
We didn't want Jim Young to see us in our suit of birth!
Government with Captain Hayes was THE most fun;
He teased us and quizzed us all one by one.
Remember how he teased all the guys about asking the girls out for a date
And, suggested that those who couldn't dance would never rate.
He made our prom days sound like the party of a lifetime, where the damsels were to be wined and dined,
Then he recommended corsages of wild onion and stink weed for those who fretted and whined.
He taught us about history and government 'tis true,
But he always wanted us to be aware of the socially right thing to do.
Every class period was filled with learning, be assured
But he taught us about life with humor, which more often endured.
Mrs. Jackson deserved at least a medal for producing our senior play
And for giving each of us an opportunity to be a "star" for a day!
I'm sure she had her doubts but stood by us all the way.
Mrs. White used her wisdom and talent to help us keep our memories on track,
By helping us produce the first ever, ad-free Scarlack!
It wouldn't be right, if I didn't include a word or two
About Principal Roaden, whose favorite line was "I will not tolerate uh huh and hun huh from any of you!"
He'd pace and he'd strut across the gym floor with his mike wire trailing behind
He was disciplined, no nonsense, believed in the rules, and was always firm, but kind.
Since I shared with you my lesson about my first kiss,
If I didn't tell you my prom lesson I would be remiss.
Mr. Hayes rallied us into such a fury with talk of the prom and how exciting it would be
That my best friend Shelby and her date decided to find an escort for me.
Next on the agenda was a dress, which we borrowed for the night;
It had tiny spaghetti straps and little black polka dots on a field of white.
The most perplexing problem we had to overcome was quite unique:
It was the total lack of my upper body physique,
And how I'd be able to support the strapless underwear
Or how I'd make it through the evening with nary a care.
Our incredibly simple solution to this little problem didn't teenage girls perplex,
Why we'd give me some shape by stuffing it with a box of Kleenex!
Need I tell you my horror when it came time
To pin that corsage on that fake chest of mine?
While everyone else was dancing and drinking the punch,
I was sitting there worried my Kleenex would bunch!
Bet you're wondering what lesson from this incident I could glean.
It was always to remember things may not be at all what they seem.
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